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A Bit of Spoken Word

18 Oct

We weren’t built to be happy

We were built to constantly seek out new pleasure

 

We love deeply

We loose desire

We ache for more

We ache for new

We ache for old

 

But the old makes us weep for the loss of the new

The excitement we loose

The desire to change, to grow

Becomes stagnant

 

But on our own life stings and overflows,

Stemming the tide of desire to share

No one to turn to and smile and say, “Look at that,” laugh and share the experience

 

And with someone new comes that flare – that excitement

“This is it – this is what I need”

But the flaws surely creep and the fire fades till a true “this is it”

or “this is wrong”

 

Alone. No matter who we’re with.

 

And yet – we are together.

A slightly hypocritical poem about some (but not all) hipster fashionistas

13 Oct

Walk on by

Head held high

Your sunglasses betray your pride

Nose in the air

Brisk hop in your stride

Shielding the sun from your tech

Buds blocking your true experience

Fuck the world you say

I am the world

Miscommunication

23 Aug

For the last few weeks Carl had been wondering why she went to bed so early.

Did she just want to avoid having sex?

Did she not find him attractive anymore?

“Shit.”

He sighed and stretched, scratching his voluminous belly. Then slowly he looked down. He could not see his toes.

“Fuck.”

He had put on a little weight.

Okay a lot of weight.

But that had never bothered Eileen before. She had always lovingly rubbed his tummy. Sometimes she even said it was her not-so-little good luck charm.

Carl smiled and closed his eyes, wishing she were still awake to praise his warm, hairy stomach.

But nope. Not tonight.

Carl bent over, exposing his great crack to the world and grabbed a pickle out of the fridge.

He munched thoughtfully and made his way up the stairs.

Ah, there was Eileen. His dear. All curled up under the blankets.

Carl loped over and lovingly kissed his wife on the cheek. He crawled in to the cozy bed beside her, throwing a great arm about her middle. With everything adjusted he quickly drifted off to sleep, making empty promises of new diets to any sheep that would listen.

 

*

 

With that peaceful drop off soon came a mountainous roar for the rest of the house.

“Shit.”

Eileen’s eyes shot open in a glare that could possibly have killed a small mouse.

This whole week she had been going to bed earlier and earlier in an attempt to fall into a deep enough rest that Carl’s snores could not wake her.

It never worked.

The nearby painting shook as Carl exhaled.

Eileen shoved her husband violently onto his back and scrambled to pretend she was a sleep.

Hup hup – silence.

‘Yes, please,’ prayed Eileen. She screwed up her eyes with the effort of sending this one blessed thought into the universe.

But no, the Universe was not listening.

Carl snored again. A car alarm went off down the street.

Eileen let go of the breath she had been holding in prayer.

“Fuck.”

How was she supposed to sleep?

She could smother him with a pillow…

No as much as the thought appealed to her at the moment, she could not kill her husband.

Eileen sat up and gathered her pillow and blankets about her.

With the next thunderous roar she calmly reached out and caught the nearby paining as it vibrated off its hooks. She set the piece safely on the ground with a sight.

With the painting safe, Eileen stood up, wrapped in her various sleeping accouterments and walked down the stairs, sleepily saving picture after picture.

She settled in on the cold basement couch, threw together her makeshift bed, stuffed in some earplugs and quickly fell asleep.

 

*

 

Upstairs Carl roused himself with one great snore. He sleepily rolled to pull his wife close, but closed his arms around nothing but cold air.

Carl opened his eyes and couldn’t help it when a rather large lump formed in his throat.

With a pronounced sniff, he rolled back over and cuddled the cold pillow his wife had left behind.

The Water Tower

17 Aug

She knew you could get to the water tower. It was easy; though the city had tried it’s best to keep people out. A couple years ago someone had even made it to the top and graffitied a message asking someone out to prom. After that incident the city went back through, added another layer of barbed wire and tightened the links that had fallen loose. However, that did not change the fact that the gated entrance, if pried, could accommodate the scrawny body of a young girl.

*

Gravel crunched and popped under the weight of thin bike tires. As the worn road began to slide beneath the tread, a skinny girl hastily kicked off her seat to huff her way to the hilltop on foot.

She reached a tall chain link fence, popped off her bike lock, slung it casually under her seat, and twisted it into security. In one fluid motion she approached the fence, looped her toes between the links, climbed to stand on the main catch, sucked in her stomach, lifted her backpack above her head and twisted her body through the gap in the gate’s entrance. Quickly, she dropped the pack, letting it slide firmly between her shoulders, gauged her jump and plopped down inside the perimeter.

Now came the difficult part. The ladder welded along the edge of the water tower did not begin until well over 6 feet off the ground. On top of that inherent difficulty was a sturdy padlock, which held a heavy, circular bit of metal over the opening of the cadged rungs.

The girl slung off her bag, and flipped out a very small, very thin folding stepstool. She placed the stool carefully under the hanging lock, wiggled it to check for stability and hopped her way to the top. Wobbling for a moment as the stool sunk slightly in to the gravel, the girl fished out a small, oddly shaped bit of aluminum from her pocket. Stretching as high as she could she tucked the aluminum around the arch of the lock and slipped it into the joint. She wiggled and twisted the small bit of metal, straining to keep her arms high above her head until thankfully there was a small click and the padlock sprang open.

The girl sighed and let her arms dangle, rubbing her wrists to move precious blood back into her fingers. When dexterity returned, the girl removed the lock and chain and pulled the cover free.

The girl hopped off her stool, flipped it back together and replaced it in her bag. Hoisting the sack, she double-checked every strap, ensuring that everything was secure before slinging it onto her back. With a few swift pulls she and tightened the straps around her shoulders and one thick strap about her waist.

This was it.

She walked over to the ladder and looked up. For so long she had dreamed of this. From this angle it seemed as though the tower could melt into the streaks of cloud coating the sky, As a tinge of dusky pink filtered through above, the girl felt for an instant that if she reached the top she might be able to taste it. That it would spread across her tongue like an over-ripe strawberry.

But now was not the time to dawdle. The girl made her way over to the ladder once more – jumped to catch the fallen rung from the reverse manhole cover and hoisted herself to the first cadged bars.

She spared a momentary glance for the sharp gravel below. That glance was surely a mistake, for even at this small height, visions of gruesome injuries filled her mind. She tore he eyes away, pushed those thoughts to the edges of her mind and pressed on.

Ten feet.

Twenty feet.

Forty.

Sixty.

Soon the tips of pines and maples were whispering below. Finally the hatch to the great ringed path appeared.

Steadily and cautiously this girl, who once felt so strong and confident, worked her way out of the ladders protective cadge and onto the creaking iron balcony.

For a moment she just stood, catching her breath. Both hands, white knuckled, held tight to the steel railing. The cool dusk air swept across her cheeks and filled her nose with the fresh scent of earth, which at the moment was so far away.

She edged further out onto the balcony, step by step, hand over hand, until she reached a spot with a large clearing below.

Slowly and carefully she sat, her legs dangling into emptiness.

With trembling fingers she unhooked her pack and fastened it to a railing bar. She undid flaps and zippers, taking out object after object, fixing layers over layers, clicking and twisting bits of metal into place. Out came one large metallic sheet to be folded and unfolded and another just like it to be assembled in the other’s image. Fixing, tightening and layering transitioned slowly into securing and double-checking.

The contraption felt cool to the touch – smooth and complete.

As a last step the thin girl affixed her creation to the straps of her now disassembled pack.

Her heart raced in equal parts fear and excitement. Adrenaline pumped through her body, making her light headed and giddy.

She stood and strapped on the reformed pack, gazed out into the crisp dusky air, gripping the rail with both hands for the last time.

Her heart soared as she released one hand, crossed her chest and flipped a switch on the left wing. A small vibrating hum crept from the center of the pack, smoothing into a pitch so low it was barely audible.

With one hand still gripping the rail, the girl felt her whole body lighten as though the butterflies in her stomach actually had the capacity for lift.

She shook with excitement as her feet slowly lifted away from the metal platform until her toes just skimmed the inconsistencies in the metal. And then, so soon, her feet lifted entirely from the surface.

The girl broke into a grin so wide she felt her muscles strain against the effort. Her feet rose higher and higher until she had to bend clear over to keep her one hand fasted to the rail.

Still grinning she stepped onto the ledge and held herself steady.

In a tremendous mixture of elation and mortal fear, the thin girl with scraggly, dirty blonde hair gripped the railing tight, tensed her legs against the bar, pushed off,

And flew.

 

 
The Water Tower

Here’s the Deal.

8 Aug

Here’s the deal world.

I’m not getting any younger and I need to make my dreams a reality so I can die rich and happy.

For those of you who are unaware: I have been steadily coming up with ideas for novels and short stories since I was around eleven. At fourteen, I even started writing some of them out. Today I have rough plans sketched out in various notebooks and recordings of ideas whispered into my phone late at night. I keep planning and thinking of concepts to explore and yet I never earnestly set out on the act of creation.

Today that is going to change.

Every week I am going to write a post in this blog. Some weeks it might just be a bit of prose or poetry. Others may include a chapter from a short story. Occasionally I might even rant about how chipmunks are destroying my garden.

This is about writing fun, interesting works that are enjoyable to read and putting myself on the path to publishing a full-length novel. One that is hopefully better than 50 shades of grey.

If that doesn’t work out I’ll probably lower my standards and write some shitty erotica.

Cheers!

Katie